By Professor
Doom
“We can’t tell you how our graduates are doing. We have no way of
tracking that information…”
--when I began to suspect the true
extent of the fraud at my community college, I began to ask questions, and got
answers like this. Colleagues at other schools assured me they received similar
answers.
“College graduates make a million dollars more over a lifetime…”
--despite admin’s evasive answers,
they spew this drivel often enough. I couldn’t help but notice that when I
asked an administrator if she’d send her children to the community college, a
look of revulsion crossed her face. That’s when I determined that it wasn’t
ignorance or incompetence: they knew the evil they were doing.
Throughout the United States, and in
much of the so-called “first world,” our young are flocking to universities,
hoping to achieve a better life through higher education. Yes, you can get a
better life through education, and so I encourage education.
On
the other hand, higher education doesn’t mean more money, as I’ve suspected for
many years now, though I’ve seen many kids destroy themselves with student
loans, believing that paying for college credits would pay off.
At long last, we have real research
showing how impoverishing our “modern” higher education system is:
I’ve shown before, with some basic
calculations, that a janitor can expect to be better off, financially, than
someone who goes to college at today’s prices, but that’s just my conjecture,
along with the assumption that janitors really can make $25,000 a year. The linked
article, however, shows my conjecture is now simple fact for most students:
going to university actually decreases your income.
Now, the study was based on UK
universities, and there are a few qualifiers and exceptions. The results,
however, are things that any insider like myself (and, I assure you, every
$100,000 a year deanling) has long known.
Let’s look at some key quotes:
Results showed there to be 23
universities where, on average, male graduates were earning less ten years
after when compared with the average for non-graduates.
It’s a long term enough study that these
results are relevant. The most important detail is that it’s the lower-tier
schools that are hurting their students the most. Much like in the U.S., I
suspect the lower tier schools in the UK shout the loudest about how earning
any degree will lead to riches beyond imagination.
Where you get your degree is important.
Also, what you study is important:
The study also highlighted big
differences in earnings depending on degree subject; those studying the
creative arts had the lowest earnings and, on average, earned no more than
non-graduates
In no way am I criticizing the creative
arts. Art is very relevant to the human condition. What I am criticizing is the
idea that we need to slam someone into a lifetime of debt so that he might
possibly be able to draw slightly better pictures of parrots or whatever.
“Mass communication graduates have also
emerged as being among the lowest paid…”
All in higher
education have known these things, but, I promise the gentle reader, there’s
not a campus anywhere with a poster outside the Mass Communications department
saying “Our graduates earn less than anyone else!”
I also promise the gentle reader that
every accredited school promises to act with integrity…it’s a queer sort of
integrity where the school is nevertheless allowed to hurt the innocent or
ignorant as viciously as it can, however.
Again, everyone in higher education knows
the three secrets to success: go to a good school, major in something
legitimate, and have rich parents. I know, those aren’t all viable options…but
you won’t earn a million dollars more if you have a bogus degree from a bogus
school unless you have rich parents, I nigh promise you. Administrators will
tell you otherwise, even though they know better (they won’t send their kids to
crappy schools, for example).
The final insult comes from a high Poo
Bah’s comment in response to the established fact that going to university is
financially a mistake for many kids:
“We want to see this information used to improve the experience students are getting across the higher education sector.”
The incompetence here is jaw-dropping.
This goober has just been told “fake crappy schools and bogus degrees are
hurting our kids.”
A decent human being, even a borderline competent
government functionary, would respond in the obvious way: “We’re going to shut
down crappy schools and stop offering bogus degrees.” It really is that simple.
But, no, the Universities Minister will
have none of decency or common sense, instead he will “improve the experience
students are getting.” I guess that means more climbing walls and lazy rivers,
then, along with safe spaces.
Now, this study was based on university
graduates in the UK, but the results they show in black and white are the same
results we’d see if this study were performed in the United States.
If you go to a good school, or get a good
degree, or have rich parents, university can absolutely pay off. If you cannot
manage any of these and want to get a university education, please, gentle
reader, pay as little as possible for tuition, and by no means should you go
into debt for it.
And realize, based on the best
information we have, that going to university actually hurts your economic
prospects. Higher education does not have the
student’s interests in mind.
Anyone want to make bets that posters of
the results of this study will be on campus walls in short order?
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