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By Professor Doom
It’s the week between
Christmas and New Year’s, and I’m just not up for listing more of the obvious
fixes to higher education that are necessary. It’s the time of year for
stories.
When I first decided to
go into academia, decades ago, I was warned by the knowledgeable to be wary of
PC (“What’s that?” I asked, being so ignorant, and this was well before "PC"
stood for “personal computer”). Political correctness was establishing a
stranglehold on campuses, and I was told not to get in the way. It was fairly
good advice, although truth be told, most of it was just run-of-the-mill
idiocy, which is why I’ve avoided talking about it in the blog. One has to pick
battles, after all, and amidst the quintessential fraud and corruption that
defines higher education today, simple idiocy just isn’t worth the effort.
That said, it’s the
time of year for stories, and so allow me to share my worst experience with the
consequences of political correctness. While it is the worst, it was a mere two
years ago (almost to the day), so I make no assertion that this comes from a
relatively ignorant past, even as I make apologies for it being the absolute
worst I can come up with (the second worst isn’t too far distant, however), and
so one shouldn’t take this as typical diversity sludge.
The faculty were
gathered, as it was so often the case, for a mandatory meeting, for a Diversity Training workshop. The speaker
was highly esteemed, being a head of some diversity-type department (I’ll avoid
naming names here), from some place up north, with over 20 years in
diversity-type education, and, of course, a Ph. D. (in the subject of African
History, if I recall correctly).
He began his talk with a question:
“When were there no more European
Wars in North America?”
I’m no historian, but I
responded with a cautious “1776,” supposing that with the Declaration of
Independence, it would be problematic to define the wars in North America as
“European.” I was wrong, and he was quick to inform me:
“No. There were never any wars
between the European powers in North America.”
I really feel that in a
room full of educated people, this sort of claim would cause a small riot, if
not laughter at the very least. Believing I misunderstood, I responded “Not
even between France and England?” Again, my claim was wrong, although I sure
seemed to remember an altercation or two.
“France and England didn’t have any
wars in North America. Do you know why? Because they united to keep the black
man down.”
One faculty responded
with a feeble “I don’t agree,” but I felt the need to inform the supposedly
knowledgeable speaker that George Washington’s early military career was
working for the British, against the French—I’m no historian, but I know a
little (and, apparently, more than the many Educationists I was working with).
The esteemed speaker would have none of it, merely repeating himself with
emphasis:
“France and England didn’t have any
wars in North America because when they got here, they united to keep the black
man down. This was how they solved the problems of war, and managed to not
bring the European wars to the New World.”
While through
experience I’ve learned not to pay much attention to Diversity nonsense, I
actually took a whole page of notes of his gibberish—the mind has a hard time
remembering gibberish with precision, and I wanted to be sure that I recalled
what he said in detail. For the most part, his grasp of history was simply
demented, but I trust the above gives the basic gist of it. His talk wandered,
however, to the topic of education in America, and he loudly proclaimed:
“The US Education system is the best in the world,”
Again, I was confused
at what he could possibly mean, since there is no positive standard by which
the US students come out ahead, relative to basically anywhere else in the
industrialized world. He explained further:
“It is the best because we have
36,000 institutions.”
Naturally, I asked him if by “best” he meant
“largest”, but nope, he honestly thought the US system is superior to the rest
of the world, because size means greatness. This at least explained why he
managed to achieve high rank, since administrators also believe “quality” and
“size” are equal concepts. The rest of his speech on this topic was the usual
“vision for excellence” pablum that make Educationists and fools nod their
heads in agreement, so I was fanned by nodding heads for a while.
At long last, he came
to talking about diversity, but it was still mostly the victim-speak that isn’t
particularly helpful. He then quoted someone-or-other….
“Diversity without equity is meaningless.”
I started paying
attention again, since this is actually a relevant truth: equity, fairness, is
the important thing. Not diversity. Apparently someone told him it was an
important quote, but he didn’t understand it:
“[The quote] means the most important thing the US needs is diversity
at all levels.”
All I could do was
write down; if I didn’t have it written down in my own hand, I wouldn’t believe
anyone could have such confusion of ideas. This alleged scholar then wandered
back to history:
“Memphis, in North Africa, is the oldest city in the world,”
I again foolishly chose
to interrupt him, to mention that Sumeria predates Memphis by 1,000 years. Now,
I’ll grant archeologists probably have a few things wrong, and I’ve an open
mind to alternative interpretations of historical evidence…but there was no
evidence provided, he simply repeated himself, doubling down with, and I’m
going to break this next quote down into pieces because it’s such a train
wreck:
“When
Alexander the Great captured Alexandria,”
Again, I’m no
historian, but I know a thing or two. Alexander the Great was a bit of a
megalomaniac, and named many cities after himself…he did this naming after he
did the conquering, of course. So, I was confused when the esteemed department
head said this. Again the historical evidence says Alexandria wasn’t much
before Alexander came there, but this scholar had more to say…
“When Alexander the Great captured
Alexandria, it was called Memphis at the time,”
This, of course, added
more momentary confusion, since “the” Alexandria is located some distance from
Memphis. Memphis, incidentally, was something of a holy city in its day, and
you really, really, can’t move holy ground (not to mention, the stone temples
are really tough to move). But the train wreck continues:
“When Alexander the Great captured Alexandria, it was called Memphis at
the time, he found the Great Library there,”
Again, the historical evidence makes
it pretty clear the Great Library was founded after the city was founded (and likely, well
after Alexander’s death)…historians can be wrong, but a claim like this
requires evidence, and none beyond confident bluster was provided. I again
point out I was very lonely in what was supposed to be a room full of scholars.
The train wreck continued:
“When Alexander the Great captured Alexandria, it was called Memphis at
the time, he found the Great Library there, and took the knowledge back to
Greece, to form the foundations of Western Civilization.”
I was in the front row, with what I’m
certain was a look of bewildered confusion on my face. I looked around the
room, to see mostly nods of agreement. There’s considerable evidence that the
Great Library sought texts FROM Greece, rather than the other way around, incidentally.
Now that he finished the train wreck, I
paused from my copying it down. Again, I called him on what he said, making
certain that he really was claiming Alexander the Great captured Alexandria.
Yes, that’s what he meant, and he doubled down again by repeating Alexandria used to
be called Memphis. Truly, he was impervious to input.
After he gave his
“lesson” on history, he asked us:
“How many of you were familiar with this
chronology?”
Nobody indicated
familiarity, which under the circumstances, was understandable. I had to admit,
I wasn’t, but I’m also not intimately familiar with other fictional timelines,
like the Star Wars or Lord of the Rings histories, either. Again, he provided
no evidence; one other faculty asked if there was a book on this, which the
scholar cited. To my own shame, I haven’t tracked down the book so I could see
with my own eyes that this sort of stuff is passed off as fact.
The speaker then
wandered back into victim-speak, spewing just pure silliness. For what it’s
worth, my ancestry doesn’t go anywhere near Sumeria and not much near Greece
(but I’m quite willing to accept that the evidence says Plato was from Greece,
not Memphis, and that the wheel came from Sumeria, again not Memphis)…my own
ancestors were likely conquered and enslaved by the ancient Romans. Stuff
happens. By the time the speaker finished up with:
“Hitler only persecuted the Jews because there were no black people in
Germany,”
I was covering my mouth with both hands, and
yes, I was sitting in the front row. There was no reason to point out that
Hitler wrote a well known book on the subject, listing his issues. Again, I
admit ignorance of much of the book, but I’m pretty sure “skin not dark enough”
wasn’t one of his problems with Jews (to be clear, I’m simply addressing
contents, or lack therof). Perhaps I’m wrong on this, however.
Still, it really
highlights how little control faculty, real scholars, have over higher
education, that someone could spout such unsubstantiated and highly
questionable “information” and become head of a department with a successful
career in academia. I’m all for overthrowing invalid orthodoxy…but I feel it
should be done in a more civilized way than simply shouting down and ignoring
other points of view.
After the talk, one of the more spineless of the sycophants rushed up to shake the speaker's hand.
For
the most part in my
blog, I’ve focused on what the corruption of higher education has done
to
mathematics, and so I include this story both to amuse, and to remind
the gentle
reader, that the entirety of the system has been devastated. It took
nearly
thirty years, but I still feel it can be fixed in far less time. I feel
the need to point out: the cost for learning this diversity stuff in a
college classroom is the same as the cost for learning about advanced
calculus, or chemistry, or sexual deviancy. I also want to point out
that I was warned for my lack of collegiality during this talk (but
keeping my mouth shut was so hard, I really admire the lack of fortitude
of my associates in being able to nod their heads in agreement to this
stuff).
After the talk, one of the more spineless of the sycophants rushed up to shake the speaker's hand.
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