By Professor Doom
The people running
our institutions of higher education are fascinating. They’ve now gone so long
without any checks on their power, without anyone to tell them “you have no
clothes,” that they generally make fools of themselves when they speak…generally
to a media lacking the guile of a child, or at least the guts to point at these
self-proclaimed titans of industry and laugh.
A recent
interview with an interim Poo-Bah by a local affiliate of ABC yields a
disappointing but typical representation of how our leaders in higher ed think.
Literally every quote in this interview saddens me, so let’s go quote-by-quote:
"You notice as you walk around campus,
the declining enrollment," [Poo-Bah] Dorsey said. "You used to see
herds of students and it's not that way anymore."
I’m not excited
that this guy refers to students as “herds,” as though they were cattle to be
milked at need. Moreover, this is a state school, supposedly serving the
interests of the people of the state. If the people no longer need the services
of the school, how is it a bad thing?
"Part of it is trying to
catch up because we took a beating during the budget impasse," Dorsey
said.
Yes, and? I mean,
there are only so many tax dollars, and if the taxpayers don’t want the school
they’re paying for so much…shouldn’t it get fewer dollars? This guy gets around
half a million a year in salary/benefits. Instead of moaning about it, how
about a plan to cut back appropriately?
"I think the state legislators are
recognizing the impact that underfunding the state university's [sic]
has had over the past several years and the budget impasse really was
devastating and pushed everyone over the edge," Dorsey said.
I wish he could
give a more concrete examples how exactly the school is “underfunded.” Even
schools paying hundreds of millions in settlements seem to have the money for
it…his claim of ”over the edge” just doesn’t do it for me. As
far as I know all this “underfunding” has done is, maybe, cut into the
administrative ability to buy lakefront property. His appeal to emotion is
pathetic.
Dorsey agrees with Lathrop,
"Enrollment is everybody's business. How we treat students, AKA customers,
is important. So our customer relation has to be first rate."
Oh no, not the student as
customer canard. It’s long been established as a disaster when it
comes to something the Poo-Bah never mentions. Can the gentle reader guess what
it is?
"Clearly the goal is to continue to
increase enrollment, but I can't produce students out of thin air," said
Dorsey.
Wait, the purpose
of the school is to increase enrollment? What? The man is sadly confused.
No, you can’t
produce students…but you totally have the power to trim the excesses of the
administrative caste. Really, we’re told these guys get paid so much because
they’re leaders. Leaders have plans for moving forward, but all this guy does
is whine.
What might the
school’s goal be, if not to increase enrollment?
Dorsey says the university doesn't want to
lower standards to bring in more students.
While not an exact
quote, I want to discuss this, as I’ve heard the like from our campus leaders
many times. You know what they do right after saying they don’t want to lower
standards? Lower standards. Thousands of years ago, the great philosopher
Socrates advised to pay more attention to actions than words…it’s still valid
advice.
Considering this
Poo-Bahs obsession with enrollment and money, it’s very clear that, yes, there
will be a lowering of standards here in the near future. It’s the only choice
you see, because cutting into the lakefront property owned by admin just isn’t
on the table…admin picks what goes on the table.
Hey, did the gentle
reader guess the one concept this Poo-Bah never mentions, a concept which would
do more for the school, and the community supporting that school, than lowering
of standards? Incidentally, it’s also the goal of the school, though he doesn’t
know it:
Education.
The Poo-Bah had
every opportunity in this interview to talk about his plans for his school, an educational institution. Instead, he
bemoans the facts that there are no herds of kids to fleece and that the flood
of tax dollars flowing onto campus is slowing to a great river, and he simply
cares about nothing else. Perhaps I’m wrong, but he certainly gives no
indication that he cares about the one thing that should foremost be on the mind
of the master of an educational institution.
Education.
It’s not on the
table, either, because the hard work of improving the education, building the
school’s reputation so that students from far and wide will come to it, just
won’t offer the immediate benefits of lowering standards, plundering the
reputation of the school while scraping up as much of the local population as
possible.
I’m not picking on
this one guy, he’s pretty much the template for all our leaders in higher ed.
But does it really need to be this way?